It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
