North Korea, Best Korea!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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