Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
