Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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