You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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