I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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