Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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