her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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