Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
