wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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