her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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