are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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