What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
