I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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