I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
