Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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