Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
