some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
