This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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