Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
