Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot