This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dating After Heartbreak
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..