Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
