farters have to be the big spoon...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize