Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
