Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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