they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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