So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
