You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
