DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
