Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
