he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
