No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
