so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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