check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
A bitchslap is in order.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
