Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
