You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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