The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
