Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This is my gift to your gina
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
