you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
