dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
