I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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