what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
