just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
