I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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