Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
