I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
