sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
