I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
