Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
