you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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