Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
