When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize