If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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