remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I bet he comes in French.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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