so that wasnt chicken after all
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
