Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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