Please, let me fuck your mom
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it's like iHOP with fire
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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