i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
