thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
