You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
