theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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