what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
